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Craft Chat Chronicles
Craft Chat Chronicles
Hooking Readers from Page One with Jaymarie
Master the craft of grabbing your readers' attention from the very first page with our special guest, Jaymarie! We promise you'll gain invaluable insights as we dissect the riveting openings of novels like "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins and "Legendborn" by Tracy Deon. Explore how these authors hook readers by weaving immediate action, familial bonds, and evocative settings into their narratives, making it impossible to put the book down.
Join us as we delve into the powerful opening of Angie Thomas' "The Hate U Give," where a strong first sentence and a relatable protagonist, Star, draw readers into a world grappling with identity, societal pressure, and race. We'll also discuss the poignant, heart-wrenching scene in Delilah Owens' "Where the Crawdads Sing," where young Kaya’s world is shattered, leaving readers eager to uncover the mysteries of her life. These analyses will highlight the importance of emotional depth and vivid descriptions in making a story compelling.
Finally, we turn our focus to the magic of setting with an analysis of a mysterious circus that appears without warning, captivating readers with its enigmatic atmosphere. Learn how to craft a unique hook, maintain a consistent narrative voice, and polish your first drafts to perfection. Don't miss out on these expert tips and insights that will transform your writing and make your first page unforgettable!
Commercial before HG release.
Welcome. We'll be diving into the essential elements of a compelling first page. Your first page is your first impression to the reader, the agent the editor or whoever should be so fortunate as to grab your book. So we're going to go into some strategies to help make the first page better. And who better to have this conversation with than an avid reader and writer and a dear friend of mine, jaymarie?
Jaymarie:hey, thank you.
J.D. Myall:Hey, everybody, I'm excited about this topic all righty, so should we dive right in oh, yeah, absolutely page one of the hunger games.
J.D. Myall:my fingers stretch out's warmth, but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course she did. This is the day of the briefing. I prop myself up on one elbow. There's enough light in the bedroom to see them, my little sister, prim, curled up on her side, cooing in my mother's body, their cheeks pressed together in sleep. My mother looks younger, still warm, but not so beaten down. Prim's face is as fresh as a raindrop, as lovely as the prim rose for which she was named.
J.D. Myall:My mother was once very beautiful too, or so they tell me. Okay, so one of the things that Suzanne Collins does, excellent. There she taps into the head value and creates intrigue for the reader. She mentions the day of the reaping, which immediately raises questions for the reader. What is the reaping? You know? Why is it so ominous? That it gives a young child nightmares and makes her cling to her mother.
J.D. Myall:All these are things that motivate you to turn the page to find out what it is, to learn more. She does a great job of sprinkling in backstory without keeping it on and boring you so you don't go on. She gives you just enough by dropping the reaping and keeping it going to make you wonder about the reaping. She also taps into the heart value. The protagonist, um Katniss, concerned for her sister Prim basically her love for her sister and the familial bond and her protective nature toward her sister, makes us empathetic for both characters and it also makes us emotionally invested in them and make us worry and wonder what's going to happen next. And what are your thoughts on the first page of the Hunger Games, jaymarie?
Jaymarie:Yeah, I had a similar reaction and beat down. Their mother is worn down and beaten and that she used to be beautiful. So it's like, okay, well, what happened to her in this time frame? Um, and you know, in retrospect, having read this and even watched the movies, you know, you know what happens. But I love how, even in this first page, there is that foreshadowing that something is going to happen, something is going to go on this the young girl not going to stay fresh and pretty as she, as she is now. You know. So for me that as as a reader, I'm like okay, well, what's going on with these people? And clearly she talks about the coldness of the bed because Prim has gotten up and gone, but there's still like things aren't that great here.
J.D. Myall:They have the love of their family, but you know there's something going on, but we don't quite know what yet. And that's at work. She also sprinkles in setting an atmosphere. Um, the rough canvas mattress, the fact that her family is all in the same sleeping area where she can see the mom and prim, hints at like poverty, hints right, yeah, and then, um, it hints that they're in a very harsh and unforgiving environment, which is good. Like I said, she's not pouring in eight pages of description of the bedroom or the world, because that soon it would bog it down and people wouldn't care because they don't care about the characters. Yet she's sprinkling just enough to make us want more, and readers will be patient with you. What you give them is a compelling character, a compelling situation and an interesting setting. Readers will follow you through and wait for the little sprinkles to keep the story going. She also uses a good, I think, narrative voice with Katniss. I like her perspectives and her thoughts. Even though she's not always the most warm, fuzzy character, she's still an intriguing narrative voice. Now we're going to move on to the first page of Legendborn by Tracy Deon.
J.D. Myall:A Carolina bird's ear sprints through the darkness and launches itself off a cliff into the moonlight night. His shout sends sleepy birds flying overhead. The sound echoes against rock face that borders the Eno Quarry. Flashlights track his flailing body, all windmilling arms and kicking legs, until he hits the water with a crackling splash. At the cliff line above 30 college students cheer and boop their joy, weaving through the pine trees like a constellation in motion. Cone-shaped beams of light roam the lake's surface. Collective breath helps all eyes searching. Wait. Then the boy erupts from the water with a roar and the crowd explodes. Cliff jumping is the perfect formula for southern white boy fun, rural recklessness, a pocket flashlight's worth of precaution and a dare I can't look away. And a dare I can't look away. Each run draws my own feet and each blows to the edge. Each leap into nothingness, each hovering moment for the fall calls to a sparkle wild. With yearning inside my chest, I press that yearning down, seal the clothes, void it up. Lucky he didn't break his damn legs, alice mutters in her soft twang.
J.D. Myall:Legendborn also had a really emotional prologue, but I started the first page of chapter one. Okay. So in the first page of chapter one, tracy brings us immediate action and intrigue. The opening scene, with a student sprinting and jumping off a cliff, captures the reader's attention, it sets a dynamic tone and it makes you wonder what's going to happen next. What are the consequences of this daring act? Is somebody going to be hurt? What's going to happen?
J.D. Myall:She gives you a setting that's really good and vivid and has lots of sensory engagement. She talks about the moonlit night, the sound of the birds, the echoes against the rock face, the visual of the flashlights tracking the flailing body. They give the reader a very vivid, tangible scene. So again, she sprinkles in the intrigue, the. You're wondering what's going to happen next. You're wondering if the main character is going to finally take the leap. You're wondering if the boy from jumping in the water is going to be okay. All of these questions are what keeps the reader turning pages.
J.D. Myall:She gives you an interesting setting. She brings in emotional involvement. The protagonist makes feelings about cliff jumping and emotional involvement. The protagonist makes feelings about cliff jumping, the allure of it, and then her caution and that tug, that emotional pull and tug of war inside of her. That internal conflict adds depth and makes it interesting and makes her relatable. The protagonist's perspectives and reactions introduce her as thoughtful and cautious and reactions introduce her as thoughtful and cautious, but it hints at a streak of recklessness that's intriguing and interesting to the reader. And again, we want to see what's going to happen, what she's going to do next. What are your thoughts on this first page?
Jaymarie:yeah, I love that exciting recklessness. Um, immediately, that first sentence, as he launches himself off the cliff, I'm like, oh, like, is he going to die? Is this, uh, for fun or some other reason? Like, what is going on? Um, so immediately having those questions right away for the reader, um, is it's really important because it keeps it's like engagement right away. Um, and then he hits the water and then it's like, well, you know what, what happens next? And um, but even before he hits the water, there's this sense, uh, the sensory um description of his flailing body, windmilling arms, kicking legs. Because even then it's still like, is this something he wanted to do, you know? So it's still a question of what's happening, what's going to happen to him. So there's that suspense. And then he hits the water and everyone's staring at the water, holding their breasts, looking around. It's just even another layer of suspense. Is he going to come up? What's going on? So love that. And that's what keeps you reading, because you want to find out what's going to happen.
Jaymarie:And I love this one sentence explanation because it gives some sort of background to these characters or this character, and well, I guess it's all of them in general. She's talking about cliff jumping is the perfect formula for southern white boy fun and the rural recklessness, recklessness. So it gives you, um, just a little bit of who these people are, where they're from, um carolina, first year. So immediately you even have location. What else, oh? And then the narrator.
Jaymarie:This is a book I'm not familiar with. The narrator is female. Yes, okay, I love that. Even she, like she's excited by it. But there's this nervousness. Her's, her feet are getting closer. So it is. This, is this something I want to do? I'm enjoying watching other people do it, but then, at the same time, you know, she says I press that yearning down and seal it close. And again, why? What's going on? What's going on there? What's going on in her head? Um, so, just particularly for me, not not being familiar with the story, I am beyond intrigue and I want to read more because I'm like, who are these kids? You know this is this, is what they do for fun, and it's an authorian like a modern day king author twist.
J.D. Myall:Okay. Something else I really love that she did too was the the little throwaway line about southern white boyfrien. She also deals because the main character is a black female. There's a little bit of touch on the race and stuff in the story, not in the traditional. You know, hate you give type racism type thing but she very much, is a black POV character and stands in that space. So the fact that she mentions that as something that's kind of slightly foreign to her, you know what I mean.
Jaymarie:Yeah absolutely Okay. Yeah, that part I didn't know. So that adds this whole other layer to all of this on the first page. Okay, I was just going to say I'm adding this book to my list.
J.D. Myall:So but something else she does that I found um skillful and interesting is her prologue leans really heavy on the heart, like I said very emotional scene.
J.D. Myall:I'm not gonna spoil it for you because I want you to read it, but that was a very emotional scene. And then this one goes into the other part I was talking about, where I was like the head and the heart. Here she goes into the the, the intrigue, the head making you think to make me question part, and she leans really good on the sensory and the visual because the setting is strong in this and the voice and that carries you through. So I think she skillfully makes the sentry details, the character introduction and a hint of danger to captivate us and set the stage for the story to unfold, absolutely Okay. So the next story we're going to listen to is the first page of the Hate U Give by Angie Thomas.
J.D. Myall:I shouldn't have come to this party. I'm not even sure I belong at this party. That's not on some bougie shit even. There are just some places where it's not enough to be me, either version of me. Big D's Spring Break Party is one of those places. I squeeze through sweaty bodies, bubble canyon, her curls bouncing past her shoulders, a haze lingers over the room smelling like weed and music rattles the floor. Some rapper calls out for everybody to name name followed by a bunch of haze as people launch into their own versions. Kenya holds up her cup and dances her way through the crowd. Between the hey from the loud-ass music and the nausea from the weed odor, I'll be amazed if I cross the room without spilling my drink. We break out of the crowd. Big D's house is packed wall to wall. I've always heard people say that everybody and their mama comes to these spring break parties. Well, everybody except me.
J.D. Myall:But damn, I didn't know it would be this many people Girls wear their hair colored, curled and laid in a sleigh Got me feeling basic as hell with my ponytail. Guys in their freshest kicks and saggy pants grind so close to girls they just about need condoms. My Nana likes to say that the spring brings love. Spring in Garden Heights doesn't always bring love, but it promises babies in the winter. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of them are conceived the night of Big D's party. He always has it on Friday of spring break, because you need Saturday to recover and Sunday to repent. Stop following me and go dance, star Kenny says. People already say you think you're all that. I didn't know. So many mind readers lived in Garden Heights. Whether people know me as anything other than Big Mav's daughter who works in the store. I sip my drink and spit it back out. I knew there would be more than a Hawaiian punch in it, but this is way stronger than I'm used to.
J.D. Myall:Alright, that was the first page of Andy Thomas' the Hate U Give. She intrigues the reader with the head value where she's immediately talking about how I shouldn't have come to this party, which sets the tone for conflict and intrigue. Raises questions like why does the person, the protagonist, feel out of place? Why do they regret the decision? It makes you curious. It makes you want to read on the emotional value, the heart value right there. The emotional involvement comes from the protagonist's internal conflict and sense of not belonging, the feeling of being an outsider and the struggle with identity. When she says there are some places where I don't belong either, a version of me, that makes the reader wonder why there's more than one version of her. So that's another little subtle question and ask and emotional thing for the reader to latch on, to question and ask, an emotional thing for the reader to latch on to.
J.D. Myall:She also shows really good restraint in her storytelling. What I talked about earlier about how you want to sprinkle in your setting and you want to sprinkle in your backstory. Give them just enough to be intrigued on that first page. But you still need to get that heart, the emotions, get them attached to your character and get that intrigue, get them questioning so they read on for the answers. She shows great restraint. You know she's at a party and you get just enough to see the party, but there's not a ton of over explaining. She's not describing every decoration or lack thereof in the room. You know you get a basic idea of what people are wearing, but you're more tuned in the camera if there was one is more tuned in on Star and her emotions and how she feels out of place in this situation. What are your thoughts on it?
Jaymarie:I have similar thoughts. I feel like you don't need me here today. You're like picking out everything Again. This is one that has a very strong first sentence. I shouldn't have come to this party, and I think for most people, you can't help but read on to figure out why, which is brilliant. Again, as she feels she can't be either version of herself, the question is, why can't she be herself and why are there two versions? So that hint again at the, at her backstory and those identity struggles that we don't need to know all of it now, but it is coming. Um, so we know, okay, there's two versions of her and you know, as a, as a reader, you're expecting to find out about that as the story goes on. But, as a writer like JD's been saying, you don't have to land all of that right now. You hint at it and those are things that get filled in later, but again, there's just enough there. So the reader's like, oh, okay, what's going on with this, this girl? I want to know more why, and I also what's in which I feel like it's really important here?
Jaymarie:Um, the human connection of all of us. Most of us feel this way, um, and so it's particularly in high school, you know. So there's that Connecting to Just the human experience, and I love the description of the party, just like you're saying. It's just enough. I don't need to know what the whole house looks like, it's just in that immediate area Of where they are and it's a familiar setting. Whether you've been to a high school party or college party, even if you haven't, and you've seen it in movies, you know we kind of understand the atmosphere and can follow them through it and picture it. And so for some people, again, it's connecting to nostalgia also of having been in those types of settings, squeezing through the party with your, your red cup of Hawaiian punch. You know, I think a lot of people have had that experience.
Jaymarie:Um, the self-consciousness like there's so much here at just one page, of how you know she's looking at other girls hair and like, oh, I just have this ponytail. You know, like I should have stepped up my game in a sense. You know, um, and I love that, even with all this, there's still humor. Um, as star talks about people dancing so close together they need condoms. Um, it's just there's, there's a lot packed in here, um, but at the same time it's not too much of anything, it's just this it's almost like that party being in the party, if you're weaving, weaving through the things, um, just giving us enough to know an idea of who, who this girl is, um, and wanting to know more about her. So again, there's, that's again, as you say, that intrigue yeah, and she does a great job of characterization too.
J.D. Myall:Stars relatable, like you said, we've all had that feeling um the insecurity. I think makes her more relatable because we've all had those moments exactly and you don't think you measure up yeah and um and the humor. You know, funny characters are great. That's also a really good tactic for if you're writing a character who's not as likable. Sometimes, if they're less well and you throw in some humor, it makes them more endearing to readers yes, I love those characters the most actually it's.
Jaymarie:But even if they're like the antagonist, but they're humorous in some way, I'm just like, oh, I shouldn't like this person, but I kind of do yeah so um, she also hints at the broader themes in the novel of belonging, societal pressure and race and class.
J.D. Myall:In conclusion, I think Angie did a great job of setting up the conflicts and the themes. She compelled us, she hooked us as readers. She made us interested in what was going to happen to Star Next. That's the goal of any first page. Basically, she hit it out of the park. Let's go on to our next one. Where the Crawdads Sing by Delilah Owens is our next one.
Jaymarie:Ma, 1952. The morning burned, so August hot. The marsh's moist breath hung the oaks and pines with fog. The palmetto patches stood unusually quiet, except for the low, slow flap of the heron's wings lifting from the lagoon. And then Kaya, only six at the time, heard the screen door slap. Standing on the stool she stopped scrubbing grits from the pot and lowered her into the basin of worn-out suds. No sounds now, but her own breathing. Who had left the shack? Not Ma. She never let the door slam.
Jaymarie:But when Kaya ran to the porch she saw her mother in a long brown skirt, caked pleats nipping at her ankles, as she walked down the sandy lane in high heels. The stubby-nosed shoes were fake alligator skin, her only going-out pair. Kaya wanted to holler out but knew not to rouse Pa so opened the door and stood on the brick-and-board steps. From there she saw the blue train case Ma carried, Usually with the confidence of a pup. Kaya knew her mother would return with meat wrapped in greasy brown paper or a chicken head dangling down, but she never wore the gator heels. Or a chicken head dangling down, but she never wore the gator heels, never took a case.
Jaymarie:Ma always looked back where the foot lane met the road, one arm held high white palm, waving as she turned onto the track which rolled through the bog forests, cattail lagoons and maybe, if the tide obliged, eventually into town. But today she walked on unsteady in the ruts. Her tall figure emerged now and then through the holes of the forest until only swatches of her white scarf flashed between the leaves. Kaya sprinted to the spot she knew would bear the road. Surely Ma would wave from there. But she arrived only in time to glint the blue case, the color so wrong for the woods, as it disappeared.
J.D. Myall:Okay. So this scene is charged with emotion. You have the confusion and sadness of a child witnessing her mother leave. This emotional pull, the heart value. It engages readers and makes you involved in Kaya's story. When you add on the fact that she's just a little bitty thing standing on something washing dishes, you already are feeling for her, because you know a lot of kids aren't doing that at that age. So you're kind of wondering about her story already.
J.D. Myall:And then the mother's strange clothing and the traveling bag raises questions. Is she being abandoned? What's going on here? And all these things? These questions readers will read on to find out because we're concerned for little kaya foreshadowing. They do a great job of that when she mentions her mother's going out pair of shoes, the blue train case, the word train in there, kids, so it could be happening, um. And it also hints at something unusual about her departure which sets the tone for future revelations in the story. It immediately makes the reader question what's going on. So it has the emotional value, the heart value, with Kaya's sadness Watch your mom leave. It has the head value, the immediate questions it raises to the reader the intrigue.
J.D. Myall:You're wondering why mom's leaving where she's going, how this will affect her Kaya, and this curiosity will compel readers to keep reading. So once again, she hit it out the park with the emotional engagement and the intellectual, the head value part. What are your thoughts on this, j Marie?
Jaymarie:Yeah, we should also mention that there is is a one page prologue before this. So this is the first page of the first chapter. Um, again, yeah, the six-year-old girl is clearly being abandoned in some way. So it's like, well, what, what's what happened that? You know, a mother is leaving her six-year-old child and pause asleep. So it's like, oh well, what's going to happen when he wakes up?
Jaymarie:It's just like, because she's clearly like gone for good, she's got her good shoes on the train case, this color blue, the color so wrong for the woods, so clearly like she's leaving that to me, that setting behind and going wherever she's going. So I remember when I first read this, I was like, oh, she got a new man somewhere or something. You know what's going on, cause she's, you know, all dressed up, going wherever she's going. And for me, it's just as a reader, I was like hoping at some point that she would come back. Um, throughout, like this first page, this moment stuck with me throughout the entire story, even when it gets to that, to a point where it's just like, okay, you know time goes by.
Jaymarie:Um, so so, yeah, for me, again, we keep talking about intrigue. This is what pulls your reader in. So these questions again. You want to set up questions that your reader wants answered, like who you know? What's going on with these people? What's going to happen to this girl? So, yeah, I enjoyed it. I'm not all I one thing with this book. I'm not a huge fan of like you were talking about before going so in depth with uh setting description. Um, so, even even with this, there's not a lot here, but I don't know what it is with me. It's just my own bias, sort of. When I start hearing about bogs and the pine with fog, I'm like, oh, here we go.
J.D. Myall:The fantasy writer in me loves it. By the way, I love setting. It's my favorite part of a novel.
Jaymarie:It's actually well, I mostly do screenwriting. Maybe that's the reason why it's one of the things I don't like the most. I, one of the things I don't like the most. Um, I need just enough so I can picture it myself. So, like we were talking about in the last one, with um, the hate you give like for the party. There's just enough for me to visualize it. Um, and like I, I don't really care about anything else. So, especially when it comes to outside descriptions, for me it's like okay, I don't need a whole paragraph. Um, not that, that's what's happening here.
J.D. Myall:I'm getting off track, but just in general so all in all, it was a great first page. It's a great first page, yeah um, because you want to.
Jaymarie:You want to know more.
J.D. Myall:Good setting, description, emotional conflict, character depth, emotional engagement, good foreshadowing, and it was compelling and intriguing and left us with questions that would make us turn to page two.
Jaymarie:All right.
J.D. Myall:All the elements, yep. So let's go on to the next one. The next story is the Night Circus by Erin Morgenstine. I hope I pronounced that right. If I didn't forgive me, sorry. Okay, here we go.
Jaymarie:Anticipation. The circus arrives without warning. No announcements preceded, no paper notices on downtown posts and billboards, no mentions or advertisements in local newspapers. It is simply there, when yesterday was not. The towering tents are striped in white and black. No gold and crimsons to be seen. No color at all, save for the neighboring trees and the grass of the surrounding fields. Black and white stripes on gray sky. Countless tents of various shapes and sizes with an elaborate wrought iron fence encasing them in a colorless world. Even what little ground is visible from outside is black or white, painted or powdered or treated with some other circus trick. But it is not open for business. Not just yet. Within hours everyone in town has heard about it.
Jaymarie:By afternoon the news has spread several towns over. Word of mouth is a more effective method of advertisement than typeset words and exclamation points on paper pamphlets or posters. It is impressive and unusual news the sudden appearance of a mysterious circus. People marvel at the staggering height of the tallest tents. They stare at the clock that sits just inside the gates that no one can properly describe and the black sign painted in white letters that hangs upon the gates, but one that reads opens at nightfall, closes at dawn. What kind of circus is only open at night? People ask. No one has a proper answer.
Jaymarie:Yet as dusk approaches, there is a substantial crowd of spectators gathering outside the gates. You are among them. Of course, your curiosity got the better of you, as curiosity is wont to do. You stand in the fading light, the scarf around your neck pulled up against the chilly evening breeze, waiting to see for yourself exactly what kind of circus only opens once the sun sets. The ticket booth, clearly visible behind the gates, is closed and barred. The tents are still, save for when they ripple ever so slightly in the wind. The only movement within the circus is a clock that ticks by the passing minutes, if such a wonder of sculpture can even be called a clock. The circus looks abandoned and empty, but you think perhaps you can smell caramel. Wafting through the evening breeze beneath the crisp scent of the autumn leaves a subtle sweetness at the edges of the cold. The sun disappears completely behind the horizon and the remaining luminosity shifts from dusk to twilight. The people around you are growing restless from waiting. A sea of shuffling feet murmuring about abandoning the endeavor in search of someplace warmer to pass the evening. You yourself are debating departing when it happens warmer to pass the evening. You yourself are debating departing when it happens.
Jaymarie:First there's a popping sound. It is barely audible over the wind in conversation, a soft noise like a kettle about to boil for tea. Then comes the light. All over the tents, small lights begin to flicker, as though the entirety of the circus is covered in particularly bright fireflies. The waiting crowd quiets as it watches this display of illumination. Someone near you gasps. A small child claps his hands with glee at the sight.
Jaymarie:When the tents are all aglow, sparkling against the night sky, the sign appears Stretched across the top of the gates, hidden in curls of iron. More firefly-like lights flicker to life. They pop as they brighten, some accompanied by a shower of glowing white sparks and a bit of smoke. The people nearest to the gates take a few steps back. At first it is only a random pattern of lights, but as more of them ignite it becomes clear that they are aligned in scripted letters. First a C is distinguishable, followed by more letters a, q, oddly and several Es. When the final bulb pops, the lights and the smoke and sparks dissipate. It is finally legible this elaborate incandescentading.
Jaymarie:To your left to gain a better view, you can see that it reads Le Cirque du Rêve. Some in the crowd smile knowingly, while others frown and look questioningly at their neighbors. A child near you tugs her mother's sleeve, begging to know what it says. The Circus of Dreams, comes the reply. The girl smiles delightedly. Then the iron gates shudder and unlock. Seemingly unnoticed by their own volition, they swing outward, inviting the crowd inside. Now the circus is open. Now you may enter.
J.D. Myall:Now she did um and distinct quality of the words and it kind of matched the magical theme of the book. But she took some brave risks here. The important thing about your first page is you know, knowing the rules. But once you know the rules you can choose to break them. But you want to break them informed and skillfully. For example, she left out the main character, so you don't really have the heart on this at all. Really, she leans heavily she had to because she took out one element. She had to lean heavily more into the other elements. So she leans heavily into the mystery and intrigue and the questions, for example at the end where it says you know the gate's open, now you may enter.
J.D. Myall:You're curious, you want to know what's on the other side. The absence of conventional advertising, the unique nature of the circus, only opening at night and closing at dawn it hits your head value, it spikes your curiosity. The sudden, unannounced arrival of the circus has an air of mystery these are all things that make you curious and want to know more about this location. She leans heavily on the interesting setting. She describes the circus that's being only black and white striped tents against a great sky a gray sky, excuse me, which is a striking, memorable visual image. I think there's even a part where it mentions, like the, the grass being colored, yeah. The circus too. Black and white, yeah. So this distinctive setting also makes it unique and interesting and imaginative.
J.D. Myall:The first page ends with a hook, a question or a mystery, with it finally opening and inviting both the characters and the readers inside. It makes you question what's inside. What kind of circus is this that doesn't advertise and it's only open at night and that creates the head value, the intrigue, the questions that make you want to turn the page. But she definitely took some risk by not having a character for us to focus on. On the first page, the circus is the character. That's true. The circus in the setting is the character here, so we don't really have the heart value. But she leans heavier into the intrigue in the setting and the imaginative hook and it works for this type of story. I think it works very well. What are your thoughts?
Jaymarie:I agree it works for this story because, like I just got finished talking about how I'm not a huge fan of all this like setting description, but for this it did work for me. Um, because, like I was just saying, the circus I is like a character here, so I wasn't missing any of the main characters at all. Right now, because this is the main event, there's this weird circus that came to town that nobody knows anything about and it's only open at night. So, just as the townspeople, as a reader, you're, you're like, well, what kind of circus is this? It's only black and white, which is a contrast to what a lot of people are used to with like color, bright color and all of all of that. Um, and then I love how she uses you in that, one paragraph, I think, or maybe just a couple of sentences, but yeah, it was like you are among them, and I remember reading that. I was like, oh, I'm here too, of course, cause you know, when you're, when you're, when you're reading, you're almost like a voyeur in a sense, and it's like you're not a part of it, you're just viewing it, in a sense. So it's just like you are among them, of course.
Jaymarie:I'm like, oh, okay, and so, and that's when I started feeling like, oh, you know, the different letters start to light up and it's just kind of like, oh, what's going on here? People are stepping back, and it's just, you know, this huge lit up sign, it's just like, oh, that's cool, like what is this place? I want to come. You know, um, leading into those those last couple of lines that that really pulled me in, I was like, okay, I am here. When it's just like the iron gates open and they swing outward, so it's like they're coming towards you, and it's like, oh, you know, the circus is open, now you may enter. I'm like, okay, cool. And that's when you turn the page and you know, so I love this. When you gave it to me to read, I was like this is long but it works, and like I just I love it. I like, and the um, I forgot about the, the title of this section, section anticipation like perfect, perfect, true.
J.D. Myall:I liked it too. Um, again, I love the confidence because to me it's it shows you're confident in your skill as a writer to start off without a character other than the setting. You know what I mean? Yeah, um, but I I thought you know, with the absence of the physical character, the person character, she did a good job of leaning into the setting and the intrigue enough to still hook us, and that takes a lot of skill. So you have to know the rules, to know how to break them and know when, and to do it consciously and skillfully, and I think she definitely did that. So, yeah, I really liked it.
Jaymarie:Yeah, this actually reminded me of another book that I had read some time ago. I can't remember the name of it, doesn't really matter, but they tried to do. They did a similar thing where, like, the first chapter was just it wasn't about the main characters, just kind of the general townspeople, and it didn't pull me in. I was kind of bored, um, and I didn't. I didn't even get to the second chapter I gave it was like a year and a half later and I gave the book another chance and so the the chapters with the main characters were more intriguing, um, so, yeah, it is, um, you know this skillful thing to do I get. You know I don't know what I'm trying to say, but you know it's not an easy thing to do, but, um, she pulls it off brilliantly yes, it does all right okay.
J.D. Myall:So remember, you want to intrigue your reader with a unique hook the first page, raise questions or spark curiosity in the mind of the reader. It could be an unusual situation, a compelling character trait, a hint at a larger mystery. Make the reader ask what happens next. You want a compelling setting, compelling character, compelling situation. Establish the voice. The opening scene should give a taste of your narrative voice, whether it's witty or somber or poetic. Let your unique style shine through from the start and let it set the tone for your story. You want your voice and your tone to match the overall story.
J.D. Myall:If your story is really, really sad, you don't want to open with a lot of laughs you know I mean unless it's, maybe, unless it's in contrast, like if you're, you know, if you're inciting incident is going to be the rapid change from that. You know what I mean, like a person suffering some type of loss that puts them into the sad space. And if that's the case, then you want to show that in your first. You know you want to work that in early, like in your first chapter, because if you stretch that out too long, then what'll happen is the reader will be expecting a happy book and then they'll be disgruntled if they read halfway through and it changes completely tone right, yeah, you don't want to like completely change the tone yeah, yeah.
J.D. Myall:So you want to establish early enough, at least in the first chapter, exactly what and you know, usually you want your first page to be reflective of that. You want to introduce your character and your setting in the first page, hit at your protagonist in the world they inhabit. This doesn't mean you have to reveal everything. You could sprinkle things in and give a glimpse into the character and the setting Again, like if someone is the princess of a world, we don't need to know the 300-page history of said world on the first page. Just give us enough. Just like the way Stephanie Collins just dropped the Reaper Listen, the Reaper just dropped the Reaper in there, right, she didn't go into the whole history of it.
J.D. Myall:on page one she just dropped the mention of it and you realize that it was enough to cause somebody nightmares, and that alone made us curious to keep reading. You want to give a little hint. You want to sprinkle in the background information. You want to sprinkle in your setting, but you want to do it in an interesting, compelling way, and if you know the elements that work, then you can toy with those elements. You know, if you're a skilled writer you might want to lean less on setting, lean more on voice or, as in the night circus, lean heavily on setting and a little, you know, lighter on the voice. It really depends. But you kind of need to know the rules before you can break them. And you have to get good at the rules, I think, first, because if you know how to do it correctly then you can know how to be skillful and masterful and switch things up a bit. You want to go ahead. I'm sorry.
Jaymarie:No, I just want to add for people who may be thinking oh well, I'm not that skillful, I'm just starting out about all these different elements, take your time, they're different layers.
Jaymarie:So, as you're writing um between each draft, you're not gonna, you're not gonna hit all of that in one draft. Um, you might focus more on character the first time and then you realize, okay, I kind of got that, and then you wanna the next draft, maybe sprinkle in some of the setting. And especially when you have more of an idea of what your story is and where you're going with it, I know, when I've written well, even when I write screenplays, when I've written prose also a lot of the times you finish writing the first draft and then you have a better idea of what the story is. You have a better idea of what the story is. You go back to that first page and having a you know, fuller knowledge as yourself, as the writer, of where you're going with the story, then you can start tweaking with a lot of these different elements. So don't feel um anxious in the beginning if you you feel like you're not hitting all these things.
J.D. Myall:It's something that you'll, you know, rewriting, you'll you'll get it as time as you continue to write that's true skill will make you better at it and then, on top of that, even with skill, with time, with practice, the first draft, the zero draft, is never as good as the polished finished draft. So there's always time to go back and revise. Revision is a big part of writing and creating that emotional connection with your readers, introducing the setting, the voice, all that different stuff you can do through revisions. You know, and it might be like you know, jane Marie said that when you finish the book you know where you're going. So then you go back and tweak that first page to foreshadow and sprinkle in hints and make it.
J.D. Myall:Right, exactly, you're going, yeah and make it right exactly you're going. Yeah, by combining all these elements skillfully, you can craft a first page that not only captivates readers but also promises a compelling, emotionally rich novel. Um, some more tips for your novel writing. Begin in the middle of action or a pivotal moment. Um, this is especially important in ya. Sometimes in adult genres the readers can give you a little more breathing room, but in ya fiction generally, you want to try to start in the fire and leave them. You know, and leave them burning, like basically wanting more. You want to start very close to the centralized conflict. Um, when I was interviewing nick stone she said that you know she usually has action kicking off as soon as page five in her books. I don't want to get to your inciting incident especially if you're dealing with young readers quick, because in the tiktok generation the attention span is not quite the same these days. They're used to their entertainment quick the same is true with screenwriting.
Jaymarie:Um, it used to be like the first 10 pages, but now people are looking at the first five like you got. You got to get that action going for the same reasons, you know um, subvert expectations.
J.D. Myall:consider starting with the line that challenges the common, the common tropes or the reader expectations. This can be especially effective in genera, in genres that are kind of like a little oversaturated, just to show that okay, yeah, you know I'm talking about this, but this is a fresh way of doing this. I'm not giving you the same thing that you're used to all the time, but this is a fresh way of doing this. I'm not giving you the same thing that you're used to all the time. I also, personally, something I love to do with a chapter one is to flip things a little bit. If, at the beginning of chapter one, my character's on the bottom, a lot of times I like to move them closer to the top or do something that shakes up what the original status quo is.
Jaymarie:What do you mean by that, if they're on the bottom?
J.D. Myall:I'm trying to see how I can explain this without giving stuff away, not in every story, but in some stories, like, let's say, somebody starts off and they lack control in a situation, I generally like to find a way, even if it's a small way or subtle way that doesn't give them control of everything, to give them a little more power at the end. So I kind of like to do that.
Jaymarie:That's just my own little so as a protagonist taking control of their own story, as opposed to things just happening to them yeah that makes a strong a strong character um foreshadowing.
J.D. Myall:You know you can make sure you're foreshadowing hinted events to unfold later. Sometimes you have to do that after you finish draft zero so that you know what to foreshadow. You know what's coming.
Jaymarie:Yes.
J.D. Myall:Keep it simple and direct. Sometimes less is more. You're open. A simple opening can sometimes be more effective than a complex one If you find a good balance between being direct and being evocative. Just try to reflect your theme. I kind of talked about that a little bit, where I was saying that if it's about emotional exploration in the story or like when we talked about if it was about sadness or loss, you want to somewhere in the first chapter, the first scene, you want to try to be reflective of that so people get a feel of what they're getting into. And then, of course, most important, revise, revise, revise, revise, revise. The biggest part of writing is revision. Right, yes, no story starts off a perfect story. Is there anything you want to add to that list, jaymarie?
Jaymarie:no, that's a pretty comprehensive list. Um, some of those things I'm taking note of myself, especially as a reminder, like going back to when we were talking about, like writer's book and all of those things. Just, you know, a reminder that your first drafts and I say that plural are not going to be polished as polished, polished as polished. You know, as you, as you go on, you you have a better idea of what your process is and how you want to go about things. That can help you skip some of the some of those first couple of drafts that you definitely go through as an early writer, but everyone beginning, uh, the most popular writer you can think of is going through several drafts. So and notes from different people. So don't, don't get discouraged, it is the process.
J.D. Myall:Very true, very true. And you can find online critique groups and data, readers and things like that. People might help you, or you know, to figure out some of the holes in your manuscript and help you figure out what's not working so you can revise and make it work. That's always an essential element too. The first page of your novel is the reader's first impression. The first impression the agent will get when you query. The first impression the editor will get when they decide to buy or not. So make sure that first page counts, because that's going to be the reader's first impression of you.
Jaymarie:And I'm sure there are some people who are not reading past that first page.
J.D. Myall:Statistically, a lot of people don't read past that first page. So you know, try to get those emotional hooks that intrigue in there and sprinkle in a really interesting setting and get them hooked and get them reading all the way to the last Happy drafting.